Wednesday, 29 February 2012


Recently there's been a trend of 'Krispy Kreme' doughnuts in England prompting a doughnut explosion. They're everywhere, I can't get away from the things. I don't understand everyone's fascination with them. They're fried (ew) dough with sugar on top. Honestly, when I found out how they were made it put me off. I like sweet stuff as much as the next person but, fried? Really? Aren't you just asking for a heart attack when you fry your sugar laden dessert? 
The only explanation I can come up with is the fact that they're American and everyone here loves stuff from America. I've seen enough of my peers go crazy for something simply because it came from the states. What's wrong with British things? I tell you, I'd take a nice scone over a doughnut any day.

Sunday, 26 February 2012

Diet Summary

Hello everyone that took an interest in this diet piece. The results are in and after following a diet promising to lose up to 14lbs in a week for five days then eating my normal amount for two days I have lost *drum roll* 2lbs. That's so shockingly bad I could barely believe it. It just shows though that any weight I did lose piled back on as soon as I ate normally again. It's not like the diet was easy either, I was constantly hungry and felt weak and lifeless for the duration of the five days. Honestly, I've never been happier to eat bread and butter than on day 6.
In conclusion, if you want to torture yourself for minimal results, go ahead and crash diet.

Saturday, 25 February 2012

Diet Day 7 (kinda)

I didn't post my review of day 5 because it was exactly like day 4.
I have a confession, I broke down on day 6. I woke up and went to get my depressing breakfast from the fridge and I don't know how it happened but suddenly I was drinking Mars drink and eating chocolate. And I had bread with butter for dinner. So, yeah, it was a bit of a fail.
Now to day 7, the thing is once you've deprived yourself from sugar and starchy carbs for five days and let yourself go for one day you can't be expected to go back to nothing. It's too hard. I just had to eat normal food.
So I'll weigh myself tomorrow and report back on what five days of this diet then two days of eating like a sane person does to your weight.
Before I go though, I'd like to tell you something rather important. When I confessed to my friend about the day 6 chocolate breakfast she said "I thought you seemed happier this morning". I've honestly not felt myself this week, everything has been gloomy and I stopped doing normal things like talk on the phone. This diet may lose you a couple of pounds but it'll also lose you the will to live.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

Diet Day 4

Today has been a turning point for me, I'm still slower than I would usually be and have the odd hunger cramp but I'm feeling miles better. My mood is low though, it's not that I feel unhappy I just feel an absence of happiness, it's probably from the serve lack of chocolate in my system.
I do have some excellent news though, I took and passed my driving theory test today! If I can manage to do it while eating around 750 calories a day I think I know my stuff pretty darn well.
I have to admit though, I don't feel any thinner. I'm not weighing myself until Sunday morning so I won't know for sure, but honest to God I feel the same as when I started. I thought after 4 days of a diet that's mean to lose up to 14lbs I'd notice something but, errr, no.

Tuesday, 21 February 2012

Diet Day 3

Today has been marginally better than the first two days. For one thing I didn't wake up with hunger pains so severe I thought I might actually die. But they crept up on me throughout the day, all I've managed to do is drink lots of hot drinks which is really unsatisfying.
Lunch was, again, unlimited fruit so I took advantage and ate an orange, a banana and two small apples which kept me full for all of two hours. I had a low calorie hot chocolate when I got in because I was honestly so drained I could barely make it home.
On a cheerier note I'm not actually craving food that much, well except for nice starchy carbs. I want a potato more than anyone has ever wanted a potato before. That's quite a statement considering I'm from Ireland.
All that's getting me through it now is that I've done 3 days, even if they've been the longest 3 days of my life.

Monday, 20 February 2012

Diet Day 2

This is day two of the 'crash diet', as you may have guessed from the post title. I've spent the last two days feeling hungry, it doesn't bother me as much as it did but it's still annoying. Whereas hunger pains usually tell me I need to eat within the next hour they're now a gentle reminder to my brain that 'yes I'm still here'.
I didn't have a great night's sleep, it took me until 1am to finally doze off but sometimes that can happen on a Sunday night. Today I've found it harder to concentrate, especially since I'm dreaming of all the chocolate I'm going to eat the second this is all over. My overall energy levels aren't that bad but I'm definitely running on half battery.
Really I don't have the motivation for blogging right now, it turns out my genius is fuelled by carbohydrates.

Sunday, 19 February 2012

Diet Day 1

Okay, so I went shopping today and bought all the food I need for this week. I've had to tweek the diet a bit to fit in with my own food requirements (ie no meat) but I've bought things of similar calorie/fat/protein content. I won't lie, it's a bit depressing looking as there's no pretty chocolate wrappers but it's all healthy fresh food and a good selection. Even if there is a serve lack of carbs (half a loaf of bread for the whole week!)
The only real difference to my day-to-day activities is that instead of my one cup of coffee a day I've had three cups. All before 12pm. Which probably has something to do with the fact I've had to trade my indulgent, delicious cappuccino for dull coffee one sugar no milk.
Lunch was "fruit-any amount" which sounds generous and like I can stuff my face and still lose weight, but here's something the diet doesn't tell you; fruit is unsatisfying and no matter how much you eat you will not feel full. So I had two bananas and a cup of low calorie (40 to be precise) hot chocolate, which isn't strictly specified on the diet plan but I went for a walk today so don't begrudge me this. Not after being deprived of a sandwich.

Saturday, 18 February 2012

The Truth About Crash Diets

We're constantly faced with images of perfect looking celebrities who seem to be leaner than chicken breast. Most of the magazines that publish these images  follow it up with diet tips and surgical clinics that offer thin waists a cost.
So I thought as a fun little experiment I'd follow a one week diet that  is said to lose 14lbs. I can't afford lipo, so don't even bother asking for a review of that.
I'll write a quick blog entry everyday and a final summary at the end. So, wish me luck!

Sunday, 12 February 2012

Double Life

Today I'd like to start my blog post off with a question; how often do you envy other people's lives?
If your answer is never then I don't believe you. We don't have the saying 'the grass is always greener on the other side' for nothing.
With advances in technology people can paint whatever picture they want of themselves. Sign into facebook, scroll past the pictures of all the food, and look at a random person's profile. Chances are they'll have a picture of themselves smiling in their dp, maybe with a group of friends and a few drinks, there'll probably be a status like 'my bby just brought me a bacon buttie, this is luv!!' and their whole page will be a general reflection on how great their lives are.
This is, guaranteed, a crock of...excrement. The person you're looking at does not spend their life smiling and cuddling up to their boyfriend. More than likely they cry every night and that photo of the lovely couple was taken just before he confessed to having sexual thoughts about her sister.
It's the same with Twitter, hardcore users tweet their every thought but the newsflash is that sometimes when they say they're thinking about cats they're actually thinking about how they're the 'ugly one' in their group of friends.
People lie or bend the truth to make their own lives sound happier and more exciting. But the truth is they're just as depressed as you and me. Unfortunately because we can't just all come out and say that, they think we're permanently bouncy too. So next time you see a picture of a pretty girl eating cake remember that she looks terrible in the morning and probably has a bulimia problem.

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Snow No!

Five days ago it started snowing. It came after a week of freezing temperatures and met office warnings. Yet all the gritters were parked up on the side roads watching the chaos unfold. They had hours upon hours to start getting the roads ready (the snow started at 2pm) yet there we were, driving 8 mph because we couldn't see the car in front of us for all the snow.
Something I always question is why they don't grit the side walks? It's all well and good that the roads are clear now, but for those of us who aren't fortunate enough to be able to drive everywhere, we have to risk life and limb skating along the pavements. It's so bad I've started walking on the road. It's actually safer to walk on the road, where metal beasts come speeding around the corners, than on the special pedestrian area.
We had one day of snow and the country is still half shut down. I heard that there were lots of delays on public transport on Sunday and I keep reading that they're canceling flights because of the weather. England just can't deal with it. Terrorists should change their tactics, instead of trying to blow things up they should plant a snow bomb. Gaurenteed they'd be able to take the country over in a month. We're just absolutely helpless as soon as the first flake falls.

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Men's Fashion

Let's just start off with a quick summary of people's shapes. Woman are curvy because we need hips for childbirth, breasts for child care and a bum for...padding, I guess. Men are more up and down, probably because in the days of the hunter-gatherers you needed an athletic build to chase after bears, because they wouldn't kill themselves.
So why on earth are they making men's clothing show off their flat chests and arses?
Men aren't meant to wear low cut tops, they've nothing to show. Except unsightly chest hair. There should be a law dealing with how low a v-neck can go. They have it for tyre tread depth. Just saying.
And why have they moved the crotch from the, um, crotch down to the mid-thigh area? Surely that isn't functional? How can someone walk with their trousers halfway down their thigh. Then again, their waistband is halfway down their bum so maybe it's easier than I think. C'mon lads, pull your trousers up. I'm fed up of seeing too-old-to-be-scene lads (seriously, ditch that style when you leave high school) walking around with their faded superhero pants on full display. Especially when they have a scrawny little arse, go to the gym and I might not complain as much!
No, I'll still complain. A nice bum in a ridiculous outfit just means the owner is probably an idiot who follows trends blindly without actually asking himself do I like this? Because no one, in their right mind, would answer yes to that question.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012


Well, the day has finally arrived. I'm 18 today! but, ever the pessimist, I'm not really that excited.
I will admit, it's nice to have ID that actually says I can purchase alcohol, but it's not like I've never been to a pub before (understatement, I'm Irish). I've already done all the stuff you're meant to do on your 18th so it feels like a bit of an anti-climax to finally have reached the golden age. If anything, the call of the bottle is less attractive now I'm not doing anything wrong.
So, if you haven't reached 18 yet don't bother getting excited, it's all a load of hype. In fact I have a feeling it's all downhill from here. And I hate sledging.

Your Time isn't as Valuable as you Think

I'm a student driver, I've had quite a few lessons now so I'm not too bad, if I do say so myself. But every time I get on the road I encounter the same thing: stupid people taking stupid risks to save a few seconds.
Today, for instance, I was carefully navigating around a cyclist on a narrow road. I was going slowly, maybe a little too slow, but I don't want to hit someone before I get my full licence. As I drive past a middle aged man, who had to wait as I had right of way, starts shaking his arms and yelling at me. Because I took an extra 3 seconds worth of care not to kill another human being. Okay, so fair enough he might have been in a hurry but might I just point out that this is what I drive...

It's pretty hard to miss. It's covered in labels that tell other drivers I don't know everything yet, so chill out and have patience. Not that he took the big red hint.
Then there's the people who overtake me before traffic lights. Well done geniuses, through speeding and dangerous driving you have now saved yourself one second. I hope you use to to tear up your licence. I'm not a tractor, overtaking me is completely unnecessary. Especially for the miniscule time you save, honestly what is so important? Unless your wife/girlfriend/secret lover is giving birth in the backseat then, I'm sorry, but you have to face the fact that no one will miss you if you're a minute later than planned. In fact they probably won't notice ten minutes either. Or half an hour. You're not half as important as you think you are.