Thursday, 28 November 2013

Half a Muffin

Problem: Muffins are delicious but very fattening. It's not called a muffin-top for nothing.
My Solution: Eat half a muffin to halve the guilt.

This may seem like a reasonable solution. If one muffin is 350kcal (don't be shocked, this is average muffin territory) half a muffin is only 175kcal. And if it's blueberry muffin it's one of my five a day; if it's chocolate it's one of my three dairy servings.
But while you have a reasonable calorie solution you have a rather big issue leftover; you're eating half a sodding muffin.
What do you do with the other half if you're eating out? It seems a shame to leave it but crazy to tuck it in your handbag (crumb issues). The only way around this is to always eat muffins with a friend. You look cool and modern. Two skinny lattes and a muffin to share. Yeah, we're hip girls going to a cocktail bar later. We don't want to look too full.
But how many friends want to split a muffin? Not as many as you would think. If you buy a muffin and they refuse your offering of a half you're still left with half a muffin (see problem above) and it's worse because there's someone there to question your irrational behaviour. Because, let's just admit it, it's pretty weird to leave half a muffin.

I love you muffin, we can never part. That is why we must
never meet. To avoid the pain!

Wednesday, 20 November 2013

10 Things They Didn't Tell You About Being a Student

1) We want to sleep All. The. Time.
2) Students aren't skint by default, we spend an unholy amount of money on booze, takeaways, clothes and booze.
3) Further reading is a myth.
4) Sometimes we'll never know what happened on a night out. It's best to just let it go.
5) Your mother would be disgraced if she knew what you were up on a daily basis.
6) Nothing bonds a flat like a collective hangover.
7) Certain lectures become optional if that one is lecturing.
8) Forks have a habit of running away with the spoons.
9) Pizza is a food group.
10) Coursework was sent by a divine spirit, or at least you think so that until the week before a deadline when all you have is 50 words, three of which are your full name.

But it's all worth it