Monday, 28 April 2014

Breakfast Drink Not as Sweet as You'd Think

I mentioned in a recent blogpost that cereal bars aren't a real on the go breakfast because they need to be eaten with so many other foods. Well, here I am again exposing breakfast lies for the good of the nation!
Weetabix have released an on the go breakfast drink. From what I can tell it's your entire breakfast in one drink, or they're hiding the serving suggestion very well.
Great! Something which requires no preparation, can be eaten (drank?) outside of the home and is a full meal. What could be wrong?
Try 22g of sugar per bottle. That's 5.5 teaspoons of the white stuff. The Recommended Daily Allowance is 90g so without having touched a bun or a cake you've used 24% of it!
Want to know something else? They boast about a protein content of 9.5g but the same quantity of semi-skimmed milk contains 9g anyway.
Granted, Weetabix have never claimed this to be a particularly healthy food, but their assertion of a high protein, energy and fibre content combined with a calorie content no higher than two Weetabix biscuits with milk is misleading.
Honestly, I expected better from Weetabix. I associate their cereal with being a healthy, low-fat and low-sugar option. Obviously their breakfast bars are cakes in disguise (for a start they used to be marketed as 'Elevenses'), but making so many comparisons to their cereal deceives people into thinking this drink is just as healthy when in fact there's a huge difference.
This sweet breakfast drink will surely leave a bitter aftertaste on your health. My advice is to take an extra 5 minutes on a morning for a bowl of cereal or round of toast, or both! No judgement here.

It's flavoured milk, just admit it. And Jaysus, who's
full after a flippin' drink?! Full meal my
(sits down for breakfast) arse

Friday, 18 April 2014

Lady Gaga Leaked Photos

Leaked photos of Lady Gaga posing for the latest Versace campaign are causing quite a stir. The unedited photos show a pale, tired looking Gaga with little make up whilst the photoshopped ones Versace use depict the glowing, energetic beaut you'd expect.
One newspaper described Lady Gaga as 'humiliated' over the photo leak. Humiliated. Like she wakes up on a morning, looks in the mirror and says, "gosh, how embarassing."
Let's properly look at these photos for a second.


Yes, she looks better in the photoshopped one. That's the whole point of photoshop. But how bad does she really look unedited? Not that bad at all. 
True, Gaga looks washed out. But remember how much touring she does. I have bags under my eyes that Ryanair would charge for if I party too much. Gaga produces albums, has constant dance rehearsals, makes music videos, tours and churns out new music regularly so, put into perspective, she doesn't look half as knackered as she should. 
Also, how much better do any of us look? Yes you there, uncomfortably shifting around in your seat. Are you a 10/10 glowing specimen of feminine beauty? Do you roll out of bed ready to walk the red carpet? No, you don't. Neither do I. Neither does Lady Gaga.
We should all remember that even though the photoshopped version looks better it's not real. Most of the celebrity images we see aren't. So if you want to slag a woman for not looking like a fake perfect image you're really quite dumb. We don't slag our parents for not actually being Santa, we don't slag our cat for not talking like Salem in Sabrina the Teenage Witch and we shouldn't slag Lady Gaga for not looking like her photoshopped twin. 

If anything, this should make us stop obsessively comparing
ourselves to glossy magazine images. Here's a dose of
pale reality: no one is perfect.

Tuesday, 15 April 2014

Review: Ben & Jerry's Greek Style Frozen Yogurt

Usually low-fat foods are less satisfying that their full fat equivalent. In fact, I find the percentage of fat they remove directly corresponds with the decline in enjoyment. But Ben & Jerry's Frozen Greek Style Yogurt isn't intended as a low-fat option. It's simply a healthier one.
Let's face facts, not many of us are eating frozen yogurt because we prefer it. We eat it because it's similar to ice cream with substantially less guilt and at 160kcal per serving it's hardly going to break the calorie bank.
How similar to ice cream is it though? Well, for starters it has that thick and creamy consistency I'd expect from Ben & Jerry's. It definitely tastes of yogurt but the indulgent type not the runny milk-water type. It's soft straight from the freezer too, so you don't have to wait. Don't pretend we haven't all had that moment of digging into a tub with avid greed to be met with a frozen brick.
I chose the Strawberry Shortcake flavour. It had a subtle, natural strawberry flavour with a pink twinge of colour. The shortcake was the biggest let-down. The chunks were a nice size but very bland. Compared to the sweet explosive chunks in the ice cream flavours it did nothing but change the texture to a dry crumble.
Overall, as a lower calorie option it's certainly a winner. But if you're looking for a Friday night binge food I wouldn't throw out the Cookie Dough just yet.

Sunday, 13 April 2014

6 Fun Facts About Cows

Country life is treating me well. I've been home for a week and the delights of the farm are still here. For all you city-slickers out there here's some fun facts about life owning cattle.

1) Cows are very good listeners. You can tell them all your secrets and rest assured they won't tell anyone.
2) Cows haven't got a judgemental bone in their bone. In fact, where there should be a judgemental bone there is a T-bone
3) If you put a small child on a cow's back they will carry on grazing regardless.
4) A cow can be deathly protective over its calf. You really haven't seen anger until you've seen an irate mother cow. However, if you have a bucket of cow nuts with you the mother cow will happily let you do whatever you want.
5) Cows go so mad over the aforementioned cow nuts that farmers can only assume they're made of cow-crack (that's crack especially formulated for cows, not crack made out of cows).
6) Cows faces are 90% kindness.

Sunday, 6 April 2014

Cereal Servings: Breakfast's Biggest Lie!

The other morning I was waiting for the milk to soak through my bran flakes so I started to read the box. The recommended amount of servings per box is 25; it's done me about 12 bowls.
It's not just bran flakes either, all the cereal servings are tiny. Those minute boxes you get at buffet breakfasts are the recommended serving. You know, the boxes with 8 flakes inside them.
So whilst I'd been thinking to myself a bowl of cereal is a fairly average breakfast, maybe even on the smaller size of average, I've actually been consuming double breakfasts.
Unless, and this would be very sneaky, cereal companies serving sizes are based on a person having cereal and toast. In which case, please print that on the box to stop me feeling like a fat bastard.

Whilst we're on the topic cereal biscuits are breakfast's second biggest lie! They're made out to be a breakfast for people on the go but if you read the small print they're not a full breakfast. They're recommended to be eaten alongside a piece of fruit, a dairy serving and a drink.
By the time you've eaten an apple, yogurt and biscuits you've saved no time as opposed to 'making' a bowl of cereal, or two if you're like me.