Saturday, 30 August 2014

Review: Let's Be Cops

Let's Be Cops stars Jake Johnson and Damon Wayans Jr. as two best friends who live in LA and are going nowhere in life. They attend a college reunion dressed as cops and immediately notice the effect this has on the people around them. From there on the pair continue dressing as officers and take it one step further by buying a police car and learning the lingo. Soon they begin tackling crime and before they know it they're caught in the middle of one of the most dangerous criminal operations in LA.
The one-screen pairing of Johnson and Wayans is hilarious. Those who know the two from hit-show New Girl will be able to imagine the riotous chemistry between them.
Let's Be Cops will keep you laughing all the way to the exit doors, but there are one or two flaws in the film. Firstly, a lot of cliched 'black' jokes have been lazily thrown in. Secondly, *spoiler alert* there's a scene where Wayans has to go undercover so he dresses up as a character called Pupa. He looks nothing like him, mainly because he's an entirely different colour. It's amazing that in no point of the production of this film did someone say, "Hey guys, I know these two people are both not white but that doesn't mean they could pass as each other."
Besides from the above the film is well worth watching. It has all the elements of a classic cop-duo film with a fresh new take on the genre. Let's Be Cops will hopefully be the beginning of more films starring Johnson and Wayans as they both really stepped up to the plate in this film and proved that they aren't just for the small screen.

Star rating? 4 out of 5.


Saturday, 23 August 2014

5 Ways Ryanair Tries To Screw You

We all know the story of the little boy who booked with Ryanair; he thought he was getting a great deal by booking with the devil but ended up shafted more than a pornstar in a feature length.
The only reason anyone books with these souless cretins is to get a good deal, but often people end up with a mediocre deal on an abysmal airline with a free headache (though soon they'll be charging for those too). Here's the  top five ways Ryanair gets you, be sure to avoid these traps.
1) Ready, steady, BOOK! Ryanair's website won't let you book if you take too long. If you're trying to do the right thing by triple checking every detail (to avoid any changes charges) but take more than 10 mins from start to finish the website will revert you back to the beginning and erase all the booking progress you've made. Yes, this is after you've painstakingly entered card details.
I can only assume that the aim of this is to rush you the second time you attempt to book so you're more likely to make a mistake which they can then charge you for.
2) You'll often see 'only one left @ this fare' next to the bargain flights. If you increase the people you're booking for you'll lose that cheap fare and move into the next 'only 2 left @ this fare' band, but if you book the cheaper flight separately you'll get one of the seats for less dollah. Don't worry about whether you'll get to sit together...you'll have to pay for that luxury anyway.
3) 'Country of residence'. Ever fill in this drop down menu to be met with an insurance charge? Why does it ask for country of residence instead of just a simple 'do you want insurance?'? Contrary to what it seems to be telling you, you don't have to purchase insurance. To get around this click 'Don't insure me' under 'Denmark' in the country list. Tricky...
4) You have to check-in online and can't do so until 7 days before your flight unless you purchase an allocated seat. So if you're going on a 10 day break you'd better find a printer at your destination or face a €70/£70 fee (incidentally anyone paying in Sterling is worse off that people paying in Euros for all fees).
5) Bought a surprise ticket for someone? Better make sure you know their name down to every last letter as there's a €110/£110 fee for changing...or €160/£160 if you don't discover it until you reach the airport!

In 2016 they're going to introduce a 'breathing' charge

Thursday, 14 August 2014

Things I've Learnt as a Student

A Level results are out today, I hope you all got into the university you wanted! Going to uni is an exciting time that isn't only about learning your chosen subject, but also discovering who you are as a person. It's as amazing as everyone says and the student lifestyle rumours are all true! Here's a few things I've learnt about being a student over the past year.

1) Toast does not require a plate
2) Watch how much you drink lest you end up on a 'spotted' facebook page
3) 'Smelling it' is the true 'best before'
4) You'll need a second mortgage to pay library fines, at 50p an hour it's cheaper just to fail your degree
5) Waking up at 8am is torture
6) You'll never need to get drunk more than once you've finished coursework
7) Buying ice is a thing
8) It's socially acceptable to bring a sleeping bag to the library
9) A bit of bread mould never hurt anyone
10) Suffering a hangover so bad you can't get out of bed until the evening is a sign of a good night
11) Learning how to properly reference is a degree in itself
12) Coming home to a fully stocked cupboard is better than seeing your parents or your pets
13) Mr Samuel Buca is a fickle friend
14) You will never need to own an NUS card
15) You're guaranteed to have a 'ghost' flatmate

If you're looking for any advice on packing for halls, the truth about your new hallmates, how to best deal with a hangover or how to stretch that student loan you can follow these links to prepare yourself for the most exciting time of your life (so far). Good luck to all you freshers!

Friday, 8 August 2014

50 Shades of Sales

The 50 Shades of Grey trailer certainly got a lot of us steamed up (thank you Jamie Dorman - perhaps the best export of N Ireland). Ann Summers famously reported a rise in sex toys sales off the back of 50 Shades book success and it looks like we're about to have another sex boom.
Seeing as most of the readers will want to see the film and some people couldn't be arsed reading but would gladly watch the sexcapades on the big screen it's already predicted to be a 2015 box office hit so expect another bout of daytime tv discussing the best fluffy handcuffs to hold down your man with and the most effective type of knot when it comes to bondage.
I'm welcoming the sex boom with open arms (the handcuffs aren't for me) for two reasons. From a purely economic point of view it'll breathe some life back into Ann Summers. Once a favourite for girly shopping trips Ann Summers has fallen from grace. They have permanent sales on (not a good sign for their future) and some outlets, especially the Belfast one, need some major attention. Their shopfronts are beginning to look aged and seedy, not the modern woman's orgasm havana they once were.
It'll also help bring a more open attitude towards sex which is something sorely needed in our society. The British and Irish especially can be uptight and prudish about sex, but at the end of the day it's totally natural and we're all here because two people got down and dirty. We should feel comfortable enough to talk about the things we like, things we want to try, things we want you to stop (so much could be put in these brackets), whether your partner is making you cum (yes ladies, you have a right to expect an orgasm too!) and whether doing with with the 50 Shades DVD on would be acceptable.


Saturday, 2 August 2014

Alt-Fest Is Laid To Rest

Yesterday Alt-Fest made the official announcement that the festival is cancelled. Seeing as Marilyn Manson, Gary Numan and many of the bands scheduled to play have already said this it's hardly news. Alt-Fest also informed us that ticket holders would be entitled to a full refund. This is welcome news to many of us who have already spent hundreds of pounds which we've no hope of claiming back.
Alt-Fest's latest statement is teaming with emotive language and blame shifting. It emphasises the effort Missy and Dom put into trying to save the event along with detail of all the avenues they tried. However, it also reveals they knew about the financial problems for months. Months! Yet they waited until the eleventh hour to tell us. In those months countless flights and hotel were booked. Their spineless attitude is what has cost us! Given the chance we the fans could have helped. The alternative community is well known for pulling together and given the opportunity to prove ourselves I bet we'd have been able to raise cash for this.
The fatality of Alt-Fest was all apparently down to a "costing error"and "poor advice" (not-so-subtle blame shifting if you ask me), so what they're basically admitting is this whole fiasco is down to someone getting their sums wrong and no one bothering to double check. For two people who apparently own a nightclub they seem to have minimal business knowledge. Most businesses wouldn't rely on a plan drawn up in the early stages without having a quick double check to see if it was still relevant. Most businesses would think that a plan based on an idea which hadn't properly begun yet might do with another once over. Not Dom and Missy, noooo they thought it'd be grand and had no contingency plan in place for if it wasn't. I hope that isn't how they run Club AntiChrist.
What angers me the most is the way this statement is written, Missy and Dom write as if they're our friends (I've no idea who these people are and I care even less so now that they're responsible for me losing £300) and make references to themselves as being a "family" and "act[ing] in your best interests" to draw an emotive response from readers. They create a pseudo-relationship with us by taking us through their harrowing journey and, of course, using their first names. The whole thing is full of emotive language and apologies and reads like it's straight out of a GCSE English exam. It's like they think we can take 'sorry' to the bank! People have fallen for it though with comments on the announcement expressing sympathy and gratitude. GRATITUDE! For people who have cost us tens of thousands of pounds!!!
I have no sympathy for either of them, nor will I applaud them for apologising to us. It was a facebook post aimed at thousands, not a heartfelt individual apology.
I would also like to add that anyone who thinks Missy and Dom deserve our sympathy right now all because of their bankruptcy status to read up on business. Bankrupt is a strong word which isn't as bad as you think, nor is it permanent. I personally know someone who had to declare himself bankrupt twice and he's far from living in a cardboard-box. The brunt of the financial disaster will be taken by Alt-Fest the company, legally speaking Alt-Fest is its own entity. That's why you won't be dropping pennies into Dom and Missy's Starbucks cups anytime soon.